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EMPATHY is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being’s frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s position. “Walk a mile in their moccasins.” Even if you leave out the emotional component, empathy is still needed for healing and balance to take place. I don’t have to like you or feel for you to appreciate what it might be like to be you. This involves a great act of imagination—
- to imagine what it is like to be a woman (or a man), if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to be an African-American (or Native American or Latino or Asian or even white), if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to be darker-skinned, if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to be a Muslim (or Christian or Hindu or Buddhist or atheist), if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to be an illegal immigrant, if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to be a liberal (or conservative) if you are not
- to imagine what it is like be homosexual (or heterosexual), if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to be poor (or middle class or rich), if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to be a child (or teenager or young adult or senior citizen), if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to be disabled (or addicted or mentally ill or even just unattractive), if you are not
- to imagine what it is like to live with war (or the threat of destruction), if you do not
- to imagine what it is like to be invisible (or marginalized or discounted or objectified or disrespected), if you are not
- to imagine what it is like not to be born American, if you are not
This ability begins with our innate motor neurons, which cause us to react to the experiences of others as if we are experiencing them ourselves. Empathy is nurtured first through imaginative play, as we become the fire fighters, trapeze artists, cowpokes, parents, teachers, rock stars, rulers and others we are as yet too young to be. Empathy is sharpened through collaboration—as we work together, we express and learn our different ways of thinking—we get inside each other’s problem-solving and creative points of view. Empathy is made real as we enter into the lives of those who are different—through public service, anthropological travels, global transactions and even through books and movies that pull us into new worlds and ways of being.